There is a popular best seller out there that describes our so-called love languages. I personally don’t endorse this book, though it may have some good merit to a degree. I believe it to be shallow, in that it serves to give 5 ways to gratify our flesh and is contrary to the teachings of Christ and His Apostles.
For us, as believers and followers of Christ, our success is due only to one thing; living crucified lives. Crucified from Self and the world. In crucified positions, we avail ourselves for Christ to love through us. His love is always Self-less and so we must first get out of the way and be without motive so we are able to love and not expect anything in return.
Marriage vows should be saying such things as, “I promise to live crucified and as I do, I will love you in Christ’s love all the days of my life”
We have been given the prescription to live lives full of God’s love but it involves a cost that incurs to us. Contrary to how we naturally want to look to blame others for the wrong they have done and seek compensation – we should not take such things into account. If we want the blessing of the Lord in our lives, our marriages and relationships, we must do it His way – the hard and difficult way. We have got to quit looking outward at the evil and wrong at each other and work on our own heart. I promise that as we do, we will be granted wisdom in how to walk through very difficult and troubling issues we face with people and relationships and we will be free of all the stress, anxiety and confusion that may have a hold of us now. A quick fix? No! Consistency is key, and grace and peace that passes our understanding will be our resource given by God Himself, to walk the road many are unwilling to go.
If we spent more time soaking up what the Word of God says and letting it become our guide we would be the salt and lights the world desperately needs to see right now.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Cor 13:4-8a
“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:27-38
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:13-18